Some dolls resembling princesses are displayed to be sold in the traditional Erbil souk. Erbil, Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 29 August 2019. The ultimate dream for many young Kurdish women is to become a happy bride in a colorful dress with a bright future. These princess dolls can be seen in almost every Kurdish house in Iraqi Kurdistan, somehow symbolising the dream of becoming a bride. Not surprising, the typical customers of these dolls are young girls. Like any patriarchal society, women are seen as men's honor in Iraqi Kurdistan. For traditional Middle Eastern parents, the aim is to have their young daughter in a wedding dress in an honorable manner. A bright future for Kurdish women is not without obstacles, like an arranged marriage, honor killing, underage marriage, and polygamy are common phenomena in this region. Therefore, each princess doll on the shelf can be a lost dream of a woman.
The issue of domestic violence and physical abuse at home is global. But nowhere is more prevalent than in societies whose foundational values are still completely patriarchal. In these societies women have no escape but submission, and those who can’t submit, have very little alternatives.
The Broken Princess is the story of women in Iraqi Kurdistan who tried to escape the violence by setting themselves on fire. And while suicide is far from being a sporadic choice for women, the question of why Iraqi Kurdistan women choose such a painful and devastating way to try and end their lives, is the one that got me compelled to investigate this phenomenon further.
Fire has a historical and cultural meaning for Kurdish people: it means light, goodness and purification. It is so foundational in Kurdish culture that to this day Kurdish women express their love saying: "I burn myself for you !” as the ultimate indicator of dedication and loyalty.
In this perspective, fire becomes the purifying vehicle to escape and to leave a life that sees them trapped in a very traditional society with no economic and social independence while, at the same time, having a window on modernity provided by mobile phones, internet, and social media.
Yet, not all of them succeed in killing themselves.Those who survive are left with terrible physical scars and possibly harder psychological ones: they regret their choice but have a very limited social structure to lean on for recovery. With little support and little visibility, they find themselves in a place that is worst, if possible, than before.
A woman waits to be treated in one emergency room at Sulaymaniyah burn and plastic surgery hospital. Sulaymaniyah, Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 3 November 2019. Every day, this specialized hospital - Burn and Plastic Surgery Hospital In Sulaymaniyah- receives patients with different degrees of burn caused either by an accident or the act of self-immolation. The hospital is run by well-trained doctors and nurses who give their best services to the patients free of charge and with the best care, as the patients and their families have said. Since this is the only government-run burn hospital in Sulaimaniya, the hospital's head and doctors are complaining about the lack of new facilities and advanced equipment. Most of the nurses have been trained by an Italian NGO and haven't received further refresher training as the NGO left Iraq a decade ago.Khoshawist, 23-year-old, mother of an 11-month-old baby girl, with 95 percent of her body burned, lays down in her bed in the ICU at Sulaymaniyah burn and plastic surgery hospital. Her uncle's wife assists her. Sulaymaniyah, Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 19 December 2021. Khoshawist marriage was not an arranged one. She and her husband loved each other. Her husband was financially poor, but she didn't care. She didn't even ask for gold from his family before getting married. ( According to Kurdish tradition, the husband's family has to secure a dowry to the bride with an amount of gold jewelry. In case of a divorce wished to by the husband, without any fault by the wife, she will have some money to go on ) After her baby was born, he became cold with her and cheated on her, said her sister. Sometimes, he did a video call with his affairs in front of Khoshawist, followed by constant arguing. He bit her and became very abusive, and even his family pushed him to divorce and marry another womanRoya, 17-years-old, doing her daily exercise, after six months of lying down in the bed, Sulaimaniya burn and plastic surgery hospital, Kurdistan region, 01 August 2019. Unlike many other women who immolate themselves to protest domestic violence, Roya set herself on fire because she failed to pass her final year exams at school. After receiving the test results, she went to the bathroom, poured gasoline, and lit herself on fire. Her doctor confirmed a 70% third-degree burn, and she was lucky to be alive. Two days after this photograph, Roya was discharged from the hospital and went home to the mountainous village on the border with Iran. Her doctor said that she was already dealt with a lot of physical pain, and when she looked at the mirror and saw herself in this condition could not cope and had a stroke. Roya's case indicates that self-immolation has a deep root in the Kurdish culture, and any reason could trigger the will of self-distraction in such a painful way.A view of Sulaymaniyah , one of the main Kurdish cities in Iraqi Kurdistan.Sulaymaniyah, 21 August 2022. Alike other cities in Iraq women are the main victims of a patriarchal society. Beneath the surface of this vibrant city, it lies the pain and suffering of many young women who want to be free from a male-dominated society. In the heart of Sulaimaniya, the burn hospital is hosting several women who committed suicide by sending themselves on fire. Those who survive have to live in endless trauma with their scars in a society that already rejected them.This is a view of Saywan cemetery overlooking Sulaymaniyah, which has a section for unidentified people. The majority of them are women. Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 31 August 2019. Most of these unidentified women are victims of honor killings abandoned by their families who believe they brought some shame. In recent years the number of honor killings has decreased significantly, but the domestic violence against women raised. Before the Iraqi Kurdistan parliament passed the law to punish those involved in honor killing or domestic violence, the hardest punishment for the murderer used to be six months in jail. Since 2011, this has changed, and the defendant can face a life sentence or even the death penalty. This is why, in most cases, when the victim arrives at the hospital, her family claims that she had an incident rather than attempting self-immolation.A picture of an unidentified woman kept in the morgue of Erbil, Iraqi Kurdistan, on 29 August 2019. This woman was found dead in the outskirt of Erbil. According to the local police report, she is over 40 years old, married, a victim of a murder. She was taken to the location with her home dress on, which indicates that the murderer might have known her. Police have kept her body for over six months to be identified, but no one has claimed her body or shown any interest in helping the authorities identify her. Though Iraqi Kurdistan is a modern region with a secular political system, violence against women remains high. In this region, women have a long history of struggles for equality. Many Kurdish women took the arm and fought against the Dictatorship in Iraq and are still at the forefront of fighting for equality and their rights.A view of Malkandy female high school with metal windows reflects the overall gender discourse in Iraqi Kurdistan. Sulaymaniyah, Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 18 November 2019. Though Iraqi Kurdistan is modern and has a secular political system, violence against women remained high. Historically, in this region, women have a tradition of demanding equality. In a historical step, in 2011, the Iraqi Kurdistan parliament passed a law to tackle domestic violence against women. According to article eight, a male defendant can face a life sentence or death penalty if it’s proven that he was involved in honor killing or using violence that resulted in self-immolation. According to the statistics provided by the Director of the Violence against Women Watchdog,73% of the women attempting self-immolation are 14-30 years old, suggesting a social difficulty faced by young Kurdish women in Iraq.The English textbook of Daroon's younger sister, Dalia. Ranya, Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 08 January 2020. The ideal of a princely marriage based on happiness is falsely spread at every level of society, especially at a young age. Little girls are actually considered and treated like little princesses by their families, especially fathers. This leads to strong expectations on the part of women towards men and married life. The biggest problems are that marriages are still, in most cases, combined or in any matter between couples who have never really known each other except superficially before marriage. Moreover, women are asked to drop out of school or work to take care of the home and family in many cases.A portrait of the 20-year-old Hanjir, mother of two, shows her burned upper body in her father's house in Chamchamal, a small town west of Sulaimaniya. Hajir was trapped in an arranged marriage at 15 and became a mother when she was just 16 years old. Chamchamal, Iraq, 21 December, 2021. Her husband was abusive and maltreated her. One day, their argument escalated, and she left her husband. Two days later, she divorced in court and lost the right of custody when she was one month pregnant with her third child that was never born. A few days later, she decided to commit suicide. More than 50 percent of her body was covered with third-degree burn injuries. Now she lives with her family in Chamchamal. Her younger brother forbids her to go out because he blames her to have destroyed the family honor. She has to undergo other surgery for her neck, but her family can't afford the transportation and additional costs even though the hospital is free of charge for the patients.Amina (second left) is a 47-year-old mother of Daroon waiting in front of the surgery room where her daughter is undergoing a very sensitive operation. She has been waiting for three long hours to see when her daughter comes out of the surgery room. Sulaymaniyah, Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 04 November 2019. Amina is very supportive and wanted to share her daughter’s story. She believes that people need to know about young women committing suicide to protest domestic violence against women. Amina, a mother of five, and her husband is a Peshmerga (Kurdish defense force) with a meager salary. Every time Daroon was recovered, they had to travel over 200 km to Sulaymaniyah and stay up to a week there. The local government runs the Burn and Plastic Surgery Hospital of Sulaymaniyah free of charge.Daroon is trying to stand up, helped by her mother to walk a little bit the day before her first surgery at the Sulaymaniyah Burn Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery Hospital. Sulaymaniyah, Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 3 November 2019. When Daroon was engaged at the age of 18, no one from her family imagined that her marriage would end like this. Two years after she suddenly decided to end her life by setting her body in the fire. A moment later, she regretted her decision but was too late. Almost 30 percent of her body was burned, and she spent the next three months in the Sulaymaniyah Burn Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery Hospital. After a series of plastic surgeries, she’s ready to go home. Since she had an unhappy marriage, she decided to ask for a divorce and have a more independent life during her recovery.Daroon is sitting in her family's living room, waiting for her mother to help her to stand up. Since her attempted suicide, Daroon went back to her parents' place. The house is small, and seven members comprise the family. In this room, her parents set up a bed for Daroon so that she could be more comfortable. Hajiawa, Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 21 November 2019. After staying at the burn hospital for over two months, now she is back to her home in Ranya, a small town near the border with Iran. She found herself broken, ashamed, and lonely as she described her inner feeling. She is the family's older daughter and has four siblings, two boys, and two girls. After she attempts to end her life, she is well protected by her family, and everybody at home is trying to bring her back to what they call normality.A closeup of Daroon’s hands, 20-year-old survivor, Hajiawa, Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 21 November 2019. Daroon was recently released from the hospital after a series of plastic and cosmetic surgeries. Her hands are heavily affected as she tries to extinguish the fire a moment after she set herself on fire — she describes. According to burn hospital doctors, most victims suffer from facial and hand damage for an elementary human reaction to protect their bodies. Daroon managed to cover her face with her hands while her chest and the lower part of her body were affected. Her mother said that Daroon was very beautiful and popular among her schoolmates and, a few years ago, one of their neighbors wanted her for his son. As she was preparing for her high school final exams, she was engaged to the neighbors’ son; she soon was pregnant, and their domestic problems began.Daroon, 20 years old, plays with her young cousins at her grandparents’ home. Hajiawa, Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 07 January 2020. When Daroon attempted suicide, she was five months pregnant, and the baby was born dead. She never wanted to marry first and did not want a child but was forced by her mother-in-law and mother to go through with it all, as they believed that having a child may solve their marital problems — Daroon said. During her time in the hospital, her husband visited her, but Daroon rejected her every time and finally decided to divorce her. Now Daroon is planning to go back to school, study Psychology at the local university, and become a teacher to help the younger generation have a better future.Daroon, 20 years old, does her routine exercises with her mother and father. Hajiawa, Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 07 January 2020. After her dispatch from the hospital, she has to do a series of exercises and physiotherapy to get her physical abilities back. Once a day, her father takes her to the only physiotherapy center in town. At home, he converted a spare room into her home training area. He put a stove and provided some essential tools. He and his wife assist Daroon when she goes through the routine and the pain of the training. Self-immolation is extremely painful for the victim, who has to deal with physical and mental pain that causes her death. But also for the family that has to cope with the guilt and the social stigma caused by the self-immolation of a relative. In Daroon’s case, her family is incredibly supportive and gives no sign of discomfort in the face of her new situation.Daroon is sitting in her family reception hall. Hajiawa, Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 21 November 2019. After staying at the burn hospital for over two months, now she is back to her home in Hajiawa, a small town near the border with Iran. She found herself broken, ashamed, and lonely as she described her inner feeling. She is the family's older daughter and has four siblings, two boys, and two girls. After she attempts to end her life, she is well protected by her family, and everybody at home is trying to bring her back to what they call normality.Daroon sits in her family reception hall with her 3-month-old baby girl, Nihl. Hajiawa, Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 23 December 2021. When Daroon committed suicide, she was pregnant and lost the baby as result. Finally, after three years from that sad day, she reconciled with her husband and gave birth to a baby girl Nihl. Daroon says she's delighted being a mother, and she doesn't feel tired while attending university. After getting together with her husband, she says the baby was one reason that changed him for a better husband to the extent that allowed her to go back to university.Daroon is playing with her three months old baby girl, Nihl. Hajiawa, Kurdistan Region, Iraq, 22 December 2021. When Daroon committed suicide, she was pregnant and lost the baby as result. Finally, after three years from that sad day, she reconciled with her husband and gave birth to a baby girl Nihl. Daroon says she's delighted being a mother, and she doesn't feel tired while attending university. After getting together with her husband, she says the baby was one reason that changed him for a better husband to the extent that allowed her to go back to university. Daroon and her husband hope that they can migrate to Europe to build a better life for their daughter one day. She thinks that living in Kurdistan is like walking on a rope that she might fall into the square one each moment. These days Rebin is renewing the top floor of the house for her parents to move in. This makes Daroon worry as she fears they might interfere in their lives again.Daroon is with her daughter, Nihl, in her living room. Hajiawa, 20 August 2022 . Daroon’s husband was busy finishing to build a second floor of the house for his parents to move it. Now they live on the upper floor and Daroon is back to the first square.She gained more independence but it was not what she dreamed about when she married Rebin. She wants to bring her child up with no interference from her husband’s family or others. Being an independent woman is the ultimate goal for Daroon and many other women in this patriarchal society which is not easy to gain. She says it's not an accident that has a daughter, as she wants her to have a brighter future. She says women have to support each other to achieve the freedom that is taken from them. Apart from this, she lives with constant doubt that one-day Rebin will abandon her and she fears that might even lose the right to keep her child. She says that she is haunted by the trauma of her past, not knowing what is expecting her. My only hope is my daughter, Nihl, she said.
